I pace back and forth with my fiance. The clothes wrinkle in my hand as I clutch my fist. “He’s too strong! This won’t be easy!” She says. I look her in the eye, determination has consumed me. Listen, our will may be shaken, our resolve splintered, but that will not deter us! 

Ride now! Ride with me! Ride, I say in my best Theoden impression. 

We give each other a nod and enter the room. 

He locks eyes with us, like a predator sizing up its prey. He shows his teeth, in the animal kingdom this is a sign of danger. In his room it’s a sign that the game has begun. 

I’ll grab his legs, you grab his arms I say. We rush in and corner him. He emits a low growl letting us know he’s agitated, that doesn’t deter me. I know his tricks. I know his every move. I grab him by his waist, extending my arms, as to not be in reach of his devastatingly fast hands. 

“I got him”

He begins his death roll. Fighting with every ounce of strength he has. I throw him on the bed as I contort my body to restrain him. 

“Do it now! Grab his arms!” I yell. 

My fiance jumps in and grabs his arms. At this point he is going berserk. In constant motion, this tiny tornado does not relent. 

“I told you, this isn’t going to work” my fiance reiterates. 

She doesn’t know I have a trump card. I hold both his legs with one hand and reach into my pocket. I pull out my phone. 

I pull up YouTube and begin typing with one hand. 

B

L

U

E

Y

I click search. 

I hit play. 

The second that first beat of music began playing I knew I had him. The familiarity of that sound was too strong for him to resist. 

That siren’s call bewitched him. He was in a trance. 

His eyes were now glued to the phone, completely unaware of his surroundings. We no longer existed to him. I sat him up gently and began to dress him. 

I stretched his T-shirt to accommodate his 97 percentile head size and placed each arm in his shirt. Next his pants, no resistance. Bluey the equalizer had done her job. He was now dressed and  ready to start his day. 

We walked out of the room like we just stormed Helms Deep, he walked out munching on his favorite crackers, not a care in the world.